


L

by godcheekbones



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, OT12 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:30:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10615044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godcheekbones/pseuds/godcheekbones
Summary: Because ‘L’ is a mystery, and it’s a way cooler term than ‘Secret Santa’. EXO does a Secret Santa for each other. It doesn’t go as planned.





	

_“On the first day to Christmas my true love gave to me, a partridge in a pear tree!”  
  
 **I want Gucci.**_  
  
  
“I got Tao!” announced Chanyeol, thrusting his slip of paper into the air and looking around in enthusiasm, his mouth wide open in a grin. He resembled something of a puppy that managed to pick up its Frisbee.  
  
Baekhyun looked down from his position on mid-way on the step ladder by the white pine tree. “Good boy!” he patted the unruly brown head, his eyes disappearing into half-moon curves.  
  
“What are you doing.” Jongin raised his head sleepily to shove the hand away.  
  
“… Whoops, you didn’t wash your hair either? You both look the same from up here.”  
  
Kyungsoo jumped back, scrunching his face. He started brushing his shoulder with his right hand before a look of horror descended onto his face. “Aaaaaaa” he cried under his breath, holding his hand out like it held the plague as he quickened his pace out of the living room.  
  
Jongin looked around in slow confusion at the sudden absence of his makeshift pillow. It was very late into the night, or extremely early into the morning. The rush of tap water could be heard from the kitchen.  
  
The other members – those awake at least – were staring. “You’re not supposed to tell us, stupid,” Sehun reminded Chanyeol. “That’s the whole point of _Secret_ Santa.” Then, he stumbled forwards, clutching the back of his head. “What was that for?”  
  
Baekhyun was holding up a glittery powder blue snowflake ornament. It was difficult to reconcile the petite boy, with the murderous facial expression holding the five-pointed weapon, with the pretty boy, who was posing for the calendar photoshoot just that evening. “Don’t dampen the holiday spirit!” he commanded, aggressively dumping the tinsel onto the maknae’s arms. “Now start slaving!”  
  
Tao leaned back in his chair at the dining table in satisfaction, holding his own piece of paper between his index and middle finger like it was a credit card. He narrowed his eyes at Chanyeol. If he played his cards right, he could extort great things from the older boy.  
  
Kris coughed, and leaned against the edge of the table, blocking Chanyeol from Tao’s view, trying to ignore the soft ‘hehehe’ the M maknae was meeping.  
  
Suho took over; beaming from under the red Santa hat Chen had dumped on his head after the powerhouse singer had taken out the last slip of paper. “Right. Everyone has a slip of paper with something another person wants. Get that thing by the 24th. Any questions?”  
  
“Yes,” Xiu Min said solemnly, staring at his paper as though it held the secret to the universe. “What if we don’t know who the present is for?” He showed the paper to the person next to him.  
  
“What if I get underwear for Sehun,” demanded Luhan, leaping into the conversation, “and I got the pink ones he loves, but actually they’re for Baekhyun who is taking his fan club colour a little too seriously?”  
  
Sehun squeaked, and buried his face in the tinsel. Both were bright red.  
  
“Did you really ask for underwear?” Tao asked, pausing in his plans to takeover major fashion brands in his astonishment. “What a waste of a free gift!”  
  
Kris got up from his seat decidedly, to pull Chanyeol over near the balcony for a private conversation. Chanyeol looked surprise, his mouth in an ‘O’ shape as he was cut off mid-conversation with Baekhyun. “But everyone knows you like that Sones boxers set from that fansite!”  
  
“I DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING!” exclaimed Chen, ducking a swing and dropping the box of ornaments he was holding out to Baekhyun. He ran away from the ladder to hide behind Suho.  
  
“BUT I CAN’T HIT _CHANYEOL_. YOU WILL DO.”  
  
There was a grave expression on Kris’s face. “I think you should start saving right away,” Kris said fervently to Chanyeol in a low voice, sneaking a glance over his shoulder. Tao was humming audibly ‘ _I wanna be a billionaire, so_ freaking _bad…_ ’  
  
“RIGHT. Today’s the 22nd. You have two days! GET SHOPPING!”  
  
“Is this funded by the company?” Chen asked hopefully. He had one arm hooked around Suho’s shoulder from behind, and he fished out his own paper from the back of his jeans pocket. His face became a spasm of pain and horror as he squinted at the loopy handwriting.  
  
“What? No, this is an EXO initiative by your leader line!”  
  
“I deny everything,” uttered the turncoat duizhang immediately, alarmed by the sudden narrow gazes zoomed in on him.  
  
“Whoever it is who got Suho and Kris’s papers,” Jongin yawned, “Better get them something big. Like a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle. They have too much time on their hands to think of this kind of stupid stuff.”  
  
“Hear hear,” Yixing led the chorus sleepily, snuggled under a pile of blankets and pillows he dragged from his room when the leaders made a meeting in EXO-M’s dormitories.  
  
Then Yixing opened one eye a slit in alarm. Not _here, here_ , he thought, as Jongin’s form suddenly draped itself onto the blanket to steal a pillow for his own. Then, the warmth of his body heat and the comfortable feeling of someone leaning against his back soon made him fall back to sleep. He hadn’t even bothered to open his slip of paper yet. Suho had jammed it in the palm of his hand, when he refused to move from the couch for his turn.  
  
“All ye ungrateful children,” Suho said cheerfully.  
  
  
 _“On the third day to Christmas my true love gave to me, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree!”  
  
  
 **Can I have trees lighted up with my name in the park at midnight!**_  
  
  
From: Dancing Machine  
  
 _Neo michyeosseo?!!_  
  
  
From: Teeth Rich :D  
  
 _:D:D:D_  
  
  
From: Teeth Rich :D  
  
 _But ehh I don’t understand ur msg? :P What are you talking about?^^_  
  
  
From: Dancing Machine  
  
 _… You’re joking rite? I’m losing my mind over this._  
  
  
From: Teeth Rich :D  
  
 _AYEEE LOST MY MIIINNNDDDDDD_  
  
  
From: Teeth Rich :D  
  
 _Oy Chen, this is Baekhyun !!! Don’t call Chanyeol crazy !!! D <_  
  
  
From: Dancing Machine  
  
 _Chanyeol, get your jealous girlfriend away from your phone pls. And tell him HE’S PAYING FOR YOUR ST00PID PRESENT WTF IS THIS?!!_  
  
  
From: Teeth Rich :D  
  
 _Ohhh! My present! :D:D:D_  
  
  
From: Dancing Machine  
  
 _I’m going to write ‘Chanyeol’ on a piece of masking tape and slap it onto Baekhyun’s pine tree, how does that sound._  
  
  
From: Teeth Rich :D  
  
 _Baekhyunnie’s tree is in your living room, not the park! :’(_  
  
  
From: Dancing Machine  
  
 _YOUR NAME IS PARK CHANYEOL HOW MUCH MORE PARK DO YOU WANT JFC_  
  
  
 _“On the fourth day to Christmas my true love gave to me, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree!”  
  
  
 **World Peace.**_  
  
  
With his left hand up in the air, Yixing turned his crushed piece of paper right side up, and then upside down, wondering if his Chinese had failed him. The hanyu pinyin was written accurately enough. He was still lying down on his back, with the morning sunlight streaming in from the balcony window. In the light, the thin piece of paper glowed translucent, making the black inked words pop out mockingly.  
  
 _No_ , he decided cruelly, and let the paper flutter down onto his blanket as he rolled over to his stomach and fell back to sleep.  
  
  
 _“On the sixth day to Christmas my true love gave to me, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree!”  
  
  
 **This might give me away, but the dormitory really needs a non-stick frying pan to replace the one that Chanyeol ruined trying to make pancakes on Valentine’s Day. If you can, buy new DVDs too? A man can only watch Inception so many times. We all know the characters spell D-R-E-A-M-S. And I figured that out the first time.**_  
  
  
Kris dipped his black cap lower onto his head in an effort to blend in with the crowd – hah! – as a husky baritone started screaming “ _SEX BOMB, SEX BOMB, YOU’RE MY SEX BOMB_ ”.  
  
It was quite the awkward moment to rummage through the front pockets of his tight jeans to fish the traitor phone out.  
  
“I’m going to kill you, Chen,” he whispered fiercely, and then did a 180 degrees personality change as he smiled sheepishly to the pair of giggling girls who happened to be short enough to peek under the rim of the cap. He put his long legs to good use, escaping the busy street. As he walked, he dumped the plastic bag from the CD store into the MCM bag he borrowed from Yixing. Without permission.  
  
“Hiiii Kris!” Luhan sang brightly. He hiccoughed loudly.  
  
“… You’re drunk, aren’t you?”  
  
“I was just wondering; which part of the world are you gallivanting in this time? Every time I walked past a Louis Vitton store, I could almost imagine you gleefully stepping out into the crisp Christmas air with both hands full! Hehehe.”  
  
“Ohmygod, you’re one of those annoying talkative drunk types. Please tell me you’re not outside right now.”  
  
“Oh no, I just came back from shopping with Sehunnie! I’m now in the EXO-K’s kitchen! I found Chen’s phone, so I think he’s now busy shacking up with Suho somewhere and isn’t he so slow, Kris? I mean, we landed yesterday, and I already did it, like three times, with Se-”  
  
There was a thud, static, a scuffle, thundering footsteps and muffled yells.  
  
“LUHAN YOU SON OF A BISCUIT YOU RUINSSS IT MY PRECIOUS!”  
  
“Ha ha, Kyungsoo you’re funny, I bet you watched The Lord of The Rings with Jongin last night didn’t you?”  
  
“YOU ATE ALL THE RUM FRUITCAKE I MADE, DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO MAKE IT, HOW MUCH SELF-CONTROL I NEED TO HAVE TO NOT FOCUS ON-”  
  
“In your room, aloneee in the darkkkk, hehehe who knows what you’re actually _doing_ -”  
  
“-JONGIN OBVIOUSLY!”  
  
There was momentary silence.  
  
Kris had his back against the red-brick wall. He leaned his head on his shoulder to prevent the phone from slipping as he threw popcorn into his mouth. He nodded his pleasure to the popcorn vendor, who gave him thumbs up in return.  
  
When he realised the fun had stopped, he slipped back into his leader mode. He coughed to make sure his voice was gruff, hopefully passing off as matured disappointment in his teammates, and said, “Oh, I’m sorry, are you done-?”  
  
New voices interrupted him.  
  
“I just heard a confession of love!” shrieked Yixing. Kris raised his eyebrows, chewing thoughtfully on the sweet snack. Ah. The unicorn was awake at last. “I KNEW IT! JONGIN, DID YOU HEAR THAT.”  
  
“Wa- hear what?”  
  
“Is that Kris on the phone? Kris? Hey Kris, did you hear that? And by the way, you don’t happen to know where my MCM bag is-”  
  
Kris hung up.  
  
  
 _“On the ninth day to Christmas my true love gave to me, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree!”  
  
  
 **You know which pink lingerie I like bb :3**_  
  
  
There were times when Xiu Min didn’t feel like the oldest person in the band. Then there were times when he thought the rest of EXO were a couple of generations his junior and he was out of touch with the young people. This was one of those times.  
  
“I didn’t write that,” Sehun said, folding his arms.  
  
“Neither did I,” Baekhyun surrendered. “I would have been more specific. Leave nothing to chance. I really like those fansite ones.”  
  
“Yes,” Sehun rolled his eyes. “That’s why you opened the site, ordered everything, and put Chanyeol in the chair so he could conveniently key in his own bank account number to order it for you. Wow. What a spirit of giving.”  
  
Xiu Min gave them a sidelong look and raised his eyebrow, letting go a sigh. “Right. Okay. Who do we know is perverted or shameless enough to flirtatiously request for lingerie? On a scale of Suho to Jongin.”  
  
“Chen,” tried Sehun.  
  
“As a prank? This is too vanilla for him,” Xiu Min shot down the idea immediately, shaking his head.  
  
“Oh I’m sorry, would you like another flavour?”  
  
The three of them look up from the round metal table. Xiu Min smiled at the waitress, sticking his spoon into his cup of strawberry-flavoured yoghurt to imply no, but Sehun deadpanned, “No, we’re busy discussing the yadong level of our friends, do you mind?”  
  
The waitress scuttled away, throwing Sehun a dirty look.  
  
“That was rude,” Xiu Min noted.  
  
“Yixing,” Baekhyun said, snapping his fingers to draw attention. “He’s crazy enough to write this.”  
  
“Why are both of you picking on EXO-M? Are we _that_ perverted to you? Do we _look_ that perverted to you?”  
  
“Baozi. You’re denying this too much.” Baekhyun slammed his hand down on the table triumphantly. “ _You_ wrote this.”  
  
“I would not choose sexy pink lingerie in front of my two dongsaengs,” Xiu Min refuted calmly, though a muscle twitched in his temple. Sehun looked from his left to his right, like he was in the middle of a tennis match.  
  
“Who said anything about sexy?” Baekhyun jumped up. “Aha! IT _IS_ YOU! MY HYUNG IS A PERVERT ABOVE YIXING! It’s about time we arranged that scale, I _know_ Chanyeol’s dirtier than me-”  
  
Xiu Min pulled him back down to his seat sharply. “WE’RE IN PUBLIC. OH GOD. We should leave, people are staring, where is Sehun.”  
  
Sehun was already half-crouched from behind the table. He let out a huff, his body prepared for a sprint out the front door. “Who is Sehun? What is a Sehun? Who are you anyway? I don’t know you people.”  
  
  
 _“On the eleventh day to Christmas my true love gave to me, eleven pipers a piping, ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming, six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree!”  
  
  
 **Home. But that’s out of reach with our comeback plans.  
  
So EXO celebrating their first Christmas together as twelve would be nice.**_  
  
  
Suho smiled ruefully. He hadn’t put his own paper into the Santa hat. He had done a lot of thinking, and always came up with a blank to a tangible gift. So he waited until the last few members had yet to take their turn, and then pretended to already have pulled out his own paper. Lie; it was buried under his pile of stuff in his room.  
  
“Thanks for following me to get my Secret Santa gifts after practice, guys,” he said over his shoulder.  
  
“Stupid Korean dumbzhang making the maknae do the work,” Tao muttered under his breath, holding up a single shopping bag with his pinky finger.  
  
“There’s nothing in there but Suho’s gift vouchers for everyone,” Jongin snorted, hugging the bag of groceries to his chest. The two of them had followed Suho at the leader’s request, though it took a threatening smile that Suho had probably tried to learn from Changmin. It just made the leader’s face look extremely constipated though, but in the spirit of Christmas, the maknaes decided to put Suho out of his misery and oblige him for once.  
  
“Don’t fight. It’s nearly twelve o’clock at night! And it’s the 24th today! Everyone should have their Secret Santa gifts ready already, right?”  
  
Tao and Jongin exchanged glances. From the commotion everyone had been making the last two days, it would have been impossible for everyone to have taken the gift-exchange seriously.  
  
“I’m sure they do,” Jongin placated as sincerely as possible.  
  
“Oh the gifts are terrible,” Tao scoffed at the same time. They exchanged glances again, this time glaring, and Tao huffed. “Well, they are. Baekhyun and I were putting the gifts under the tree. Someone bought pink _Gangnam Style_ underwear.”  
  
“Oh, I saw that in the store! It was very cute,” Suho smiled innocently.  
  
Tao stared at his back incredulously. “It said ‘OPPA’ on the backside.”  
  
“On a scale of Suho to Jongin,” quoted Jongin.  
  
“What’s that?”  
  
“It’s something Luhan and Sehun came up with,” Jongin explained, hoisting the heavy bag into a more comfortable position in his arms. “Suho is the most perverted, and I’m the least.”  
  
Pause. “You’re the least.”  
  
“Yup,” Jongin nodded, in all seriousness. “It’s an unbiased scale, because HunHan are from both K and M, and they both rank quite high on the pervert scale. Kris beats you by a small percentage, but only because he’s from Canada.”  
  
Tao opened his mouth to argue, and then closed it, considering. Jongin smirked at him. “Thinking of the night time fun and comparing, are we?”  
  
“Are you _sure he_ ’s the least perverted?” Tao asked, stabbing a finger into Jongin’s direction.  
  
“Like a baby,” Suho told him. “Ah, we’re back!”  
  
  
 _“On the first day to Christmas my true love gave to me-”_  
  
  
 **“SURPRISE! MERRY CHRISTMAS, HYUNG!”**  
  
Suho stopped at the open door step, shocked. Colourful paper streamers burst from popped balloons that lined the corridor into the living room. There was fake snow made from copious amounts of stuffed cotton from old pillows, and a red carpet on the floor with a blanket. Saccharine Christmas music played in the background.  
  
“It’s not a birthday celebration guys,” Suho said, and he laughed, a sincere, astounded laughter that was delightful to hear. “Who are you surprising?”  
  
Kris waved a crumpled slip of paper in front of Suho’s face. Blush crept onto the pale cheeks in embarrassed recognition. “Where did you find that?”  
  
“Telepathy!” Chen chimed in. He had a goofy smile on his face, already by Suho’s side and taking the shopping bags from him.  
  
“I’m the one who does the cleaning around here, I’ll like some credit where it’s due,” said Kyungsoo, annoyed.  
  
“But Chanyeol was the one who snatched it from you and broadcasted it to the whole world,” Xiu Min pointed out.  
  
Chanyeol shrugged modestly. “I’m awesome.”  
  
Kris cleared his throat, looking around at them. “Can we get back to the main focus?”  
  
“PRESENTS!” Sehun and Luhan slapped high-fives, and turned to the tree simultaneously.  
  
“It’s SUHO,” Kris shouted, but the delighted cries of the members drowned him out easily. Kris sought Suho’s small frame and held eye contact. Kris shrugged helplessly, but he saw Suho mouth ‘Thank You’.  
  
“SOMEONE GOT ME WORLD PEACE!” exclaimed Chen, before doubling over in laughter appreciatively. Someone had printed out a sheet of paper with the globe on it, and another sheet with the peace symbol. World. Peace.  
  
“Thanks for the Gucci wallet,” Tao nodded, hugging the giant beside him.  
  
Chanyeol grinned at him. “Open it.”  
  
Colourful strips of paper were folded in it. Tao screamed. “MICHAEL KORS, MARC JACOBS, CALVIN KLEIN—there’s more vouchers, THANK YOU! What’s this?”  
  
Suho looked over his shoulder. “That’s from an online yadong shop. Stop it, Chanyeol; he’s pretty low down the scale still.”  
  
“He’ll climb the mountain,” Chanyeol said with determination.  
  
“It’s a pretty steep mountain,” Yixing drawled critically. He held up his offending present with his index finger and his thumb. “Who gave me this underwear? I have higher expectations than this.”  
  
“I KNEW IT!” Baekhyun shrieked.  
  
“Guys-”Kyungsoo interrupted.  
  
“Rum cake?” Luhan asked hopefully.  
  
Kyungsoo gave him a Look, but otherwise ignored him. “No, it’s snowing.”  
  
  
They all turn to the window at the same time. The white flakes looked beautiful, with the city skyline in the background.  
  
  
Suho looked around and smiled. “Merry Christmas.”  
  



End file.
